So as the title says.. well it pretty much describes it all, Got a girlfriend, she broke up with me.. now i'm angsty... I left facebook cause of that kind of thing and now i'm google + which I enjoy.. but im basically there alone.. I got no one on it that actually goes on it... so it's kinda lonely.
but ya.. time for vent, I god damn miss bailie, it's driving me nuts.. I think of her with everything.. I want to be with her around her.. I want to hold her son hayden in my arms again.. god i'm weird.. but I miss her a lot. The other day I got distracted by a song she likes, and now all top 40 music that I hear.. I imagine her dancing to it... my heart drops to my stomach every time too. any blond girl I see I check to see if it's her.. it's getting to the point where I can't watch porn anymore>.>... ya I know me right? weird..
And with all that, theres all that school and house searching I have to do.. which blows.. i've been lazy and got stuck on one school problem and I haven't done it since.. i've been to unfocused with this bailie thing.. ah women the bain of me.. well other than me. and with houses... well all my choices suck apparently.. I understood it more but then got freaked out on by my roommate cause my dad should look since he knows what he's looking for.. but here's the thing, my dad doesn't need the house. WE do. so WE should look for it. but they want me to pick it so theres no arguments and blah blah blah.. while in fact it puts loads more stress on me.. I shrug it off of course.. I be the nice guy and such.
On the other hand i've been sleeping with emily again.. stupid I know... but meh, I can tell she'd still love to get back together, but I can see that crumbling, we barely make it together as just friends..>.> and ellie snapped at me so I screamed in her face and made her cry..... what?! she deserved it! and frankly I enjoyed it. Everyone needs a snap to realize "oh wait, i'm not the center of the universe!" especially when you lie and do drugs behind someones back... *grumble grumble* oh drama drama.. the only reason it doesn't turn to full drama is cause i tell them how it is. and done. well... mostly. but enough. any drama starts I either slice and dice or just leave.
But ya... if anyone whos in contact with bailie ever reads this.. if she asks. yes I'm still in love with her.. She's turning to be another kayla... damn..>.> I really don't need two girls on my mind constantly. bah!
well I should probably sleep, thanks for the rant journals/people.
night!
