Pitfalls of the Human Emotion.

I wanted to come up with a title.. But I believe it would make more sense to do that after writing. So i'm sitting in my room in the dark alone, like I usually do, and things tend to hit me, slowly realizations creep up on me like that tingly feeling you get in your back right before you sneeze, and this one came up and said, what's wrong with you human. I seem to be pining jealousy over a girl from work, we had our thing it ended alright and then after it ended she hated me but that's not the point. We are fine now and it seems she has someone else.... so why am I jealous? I do not understand, is it cause I can't have her? Is that the simple truth that i'm no longer in control of this mind and all I want is to have her so someone else can't? In the end she's not the one I want of course, the one I truly want is still that girl that haunts my dreams, never more, never more of course. But back to the issue I don't know what to do, I want to throw off my accursed libido and get rid of my urges for people of any nature but I can't seem to eject it out of my soul. I currently only want to be with one person in a serious manner for marriage and such, but I still want to have a relationship with this girl, so much that it hurts. Ah tis an annoyance from the days of spring.... I wish.. but that is something I'll probably have to deal with as I go along.

There is also the issue of school, I have to enter it tomorrow and I'm not sure where or how or what in the hell to do. Apparently to enter a correspondence course you have to meet the principal or teacher or whatnot... Really? I'm 21 coming on 22, paying you 500 dollars what do I need to see you for? Your getting money just leave me alone. but that is not the case, So I have to find this person in the midst of a busy schedule and make things work in order to initiate the procedures of the next 4 to 6 years of my life.
It's going to be a long one.. but I better go watch that stupid animes that I love so much and head to sleep in order to meet my friend in the morning, ta ta for now... don't know why I said that I hate that saying,
ciao I'll clean up the page and make it look nice later.