Arg, so a little bit of a hangover right now.. I'm pretty sure I should just stop drinking for good, but i've always been pretty bad at trying to rid myself of something without outside help. I'm supposed to go out drinking tonight as well though.. last night wasn't bad but i'm not moving anywhere with my life, and it hurts me in a way that no one would really understand. I think I might, but only for a little.. I don't really feel like going out, I want to work out, get school ready. I really need to prove to myself I can do this.. it'll be really hard though.
Strange.. I don't really know what to talk about right now, I want to sit down and do something creative, make something with what I have, that or enhance my plans for apocalyptic events, we'll see how things go.. I do have to work tomorrow, and today is my coworkers birthday.. I want to go out with him but I can't drag him to the party and I can't go out for long anyways.. It's quite annoying..
I need to find a girlfriend of sorts someone that can push my limit to help me do what I want to do, but understands me and how I feel.. which is probably not going to happen but I can dream right? I just need to find that motivation that's deep inside that can't seem to escape fully.
There's many things that I need to do.. i'm sick of being too weak, too stupid.. or just not good enough to do them. I want to be stronger, smarter and just all around better. I need to be.
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